Anxiety Level:

Nothing like organizing a seating arrangement to rehash who gets along with who. It all seems simple enough. You have an 8 foot table and you sit four people on each side. Woe to the person who walks into this nonsense with such a cheery disposition.

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Anxiety Level:

Yesterday I go down to the courthouse to let the law know my intentions towards this little lady.  Nothing much of interest except the lines are filled with the exact type of person you see at the Wallmart returns counter.  Oh, and I think two gay couples got married while I was there (Go Cal).  The truly bizarre thing however, is the booklet shown above that was included in our paperwork.  Since this whole adventure started, I’ve received pamphlets on all sorts of things that I will probably never deal with, but it really throws me that ‘THE MAN’ would be giving out info on planned parenting & Gonorrhea.  Not that I’m not thankful, but I think the book may be a tad out of date.  Just look at the pictures inside. (more…)

Anxiety Level:

Much to my surprise, our glorious leader’s financial ‘boost’ was not enough to completely pay for the entire wedding. I think old Shub is barely gonna help us with the faux-metalic plastic utensilry. After some thought I decided that since politics wouldn’t foot the bill, I would just resort to science. You are looking at one of the newest victim subjects, of a case study by California Clinical Trials. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve become a guinea pig for love. While I can’t say much about the study itself, I can assure you it had absolutely nothing to do with sex (Thanks allot loveline). I just finished the study a week ago and received the check today. All I had to do was stay overnight once and let them rub Vaseline all over my hair. The trial now being over and the convulsions generally subsiding, I can get back to wandering around downtown and buying scores of paper plates. Now maybe we can go all out and get a DJ, instead of asking my cousin with the audio system in the garage that smells like weed at all times of day.