Writing

Funny how the overlap is kind’a girthy.  Here’s the crossover.

1. Eminem
2. Pulling a weapon on your neighbor
3. Carrying firearms in your car
4. Walking on the freeway with a red gas can
5. You’ve seen it at the ’swap meet’ for cheaper
6. Speaker wire is hidden along your floorboard with duct tape
7. Having 99 cent store cup holders in your car, because the ones that came with it are broken
8. Committing felony grade arson on the 4th of July
9. Know the rules of ECW
10. Angry dog in yard to match angry owner

I’m not sure, but I don’t think Axl really updated this album from it’s original incarnation. I guess he knows best though. Here’s a short list of the tracks I’ve seen.

• Baby’s got my (beeper) number
• Fuck Reaganomics
• Down with George H. Bush
• He reached Nirvana
• Let’s settle it (feat. 2Pac & Notorious B.I.G.)
• USA out of Kosovo
• Here come the INTERNETS (Y2K mix)
• Do the Bartman
• Danger at the WTC - Remember ‘93
• how come no one told me Seinfeld got canceled?
• Slash’s snake pit is doomed to fail

Lurking through Soledad en Masa’s bloggy-dog, I ran into a meme that Tirado is trying get going around the bloggosphere-net-com.  The rules seem simple enough.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open it to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST

“The Error Checking tab contains other checkboxes that prevent Excel from marking cells that exhibit other characteristics”

Frye, Curtis. Excel Annoyances. Sebastapol: O’Reilly Media, 2005.

Unfortunately, my book was far from interesting.  I hope some of you remember this though.  If you find yourself wanting to prevent Excel from marking cells that exhibit other characteristics, use the checkboxes in the error checking tab.  (I wonder how many will unknowingly be sent to this blog for Excel advice)

Many thanks to a performance by Vitalogy, a Pearl Jam ‘Tribute’ band for inspiring the following.

Seven reasons why a ‘Tribute’ band is better than the real one.

1. They love the music.  You’ve gone to shows where the band just isn’t into playing ‘the hit’ song.  A tribute band has a love for every song.  Not just as musicians, but as fans.
2. They’re not worried about image.  No one’s really recording them and they won’t be on the cover of Rolling Stones.  They might dress up a little, but they know you’re really there simply for the music.
3. They’re not selling an album. Have you ever gone to a show and found that the band is only playing songs from their most recent release?  Tributes have nothing to shill.
4. They play the obscure songs. Not having the pressure of ‘Playing the hits’, a Tribute band can feel free to explore more obscure tracks from the bands collection.
5. They take requests.  Every fan has a song they would love to hear the band play live, but next to white out on the set list, you’re better off with the approachable Tribute band.
6. They’re drinking on the house. Most small venues pay the band in cash and booze.  Trust me, the sound is much better.
7. The venue is small. It’s not stadium seating and you don’t need your imagination to picture the band.  They’re right there.  When you hear the guitar solo, you see the guitar solo.

Obviously some of you are thinking “Yeah, but it’s not the real band!”  Keep in mind when you go see a tribute band, you don’t go for the artists, but for their art.

Photo by Daniele P @ http://danyfotogallery.blogspot.com/

Let me just put it out there, I don’t want you in my life anymore.

I know what you’re thinking, the same thing we always do, one last time before I go.  I’m sorry, but I can’t.  What little strength I have now, comes from knowing you’re control over me.  This time it will be different.

The hardest part about this, is the history we have.  I can’t deny that you’ve been there, at my fumbling attempts at growing up.  You helped me through those uncomfortable self-aware moments.  Standing in a crowd, struggling to do something with my hands.  Into my pockets?  Arms crossed?  Wrapping myself around you soon became all I needed.

But that was a time long ago and lets face it, it’s not the same as it used to be.  There were times when I sat excitedly, tapping my foot in anticipation of seeing you.  Now it seems like we barely even see each other, except you’re occasional appearance when friends gather.

And now that we’re putting everything on the table, let me tell you that you’re no good for me.  You’ve never been good for me.  Sure there were good times, and you’ve been extremely dependable, but only when there was money around.  I always found you curiously indisposed on the lighter days of my wallet.

The funny thing is, I know you won’t miss me.  I’ve seen how you act with others and know I never held your full attention.  I’m sure you wont have any trouble finding someone else to keep you close and think of you constantly.