Paying for a wedding

July 1st, 2008

Anxiety Level:

Much to my surprise, our glorious leader’s financial ‘boost’ was not enough to completely pay for the entire wedding. I think old Shub is barely gonna help us with the faux-metalic plastic utensilry. After some thought I decided that since politics wouldn’t foot the bill, I would just resort to science. You are looking at one of the newest victim subjects, of a case study by California Clinical Trials. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve become a guinea pig for love. While I can’t say much about the study itself, I can assure you it had absolutely nothing to do with sex (Thanks allot loveline). I just finished the study a week ago and received the check today. All I had to do was stay overnight once and let them rub Vaseline all over my hair. The trial now being over and the convulsions generally subsiding, I can get back to wandering around downtown and buying scores of paper plates. Now maybe we can go all out and get a DJ, instead of asking my cousin with the audio system in the garage that smells like weed at all times of day.

Entry Filed under: Wedding